mara (ecstaticlght) wrote in youwantwhat,

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A topic!

It has been awhile since I've tried this * one responded last time..cough* I thought I might give it a go again.

The topic has to do with your reaction to your child's love/hate relationships. Do you sit back and let them make their own enroads and let them develop what you hope will be a healthy experience or do you actively participate and encourage what you think are good matches and discourage what you think are not good matches?

I've stepped in once with my 21 year old when he was 16. MM was dating someone that encouraged negative behaviour like outright lying to me about where he was, who he was with etc. She was also highly sexualized for a girl. I know most are, but there is something you can see in a young female that looks like she is a highly experienced 30 year old and not still a young girl. It was a sad and tense experience for both my son and myself. I had sworn I would never be one of those mothers that ended up on talk shows with their sons yelling at them. We are ok now, but it took a while to get there. That is a large thing.

This morning I almost suggested to my 17 yr old that he set a time for his summer love to call him. She's called 3 times when he wasn't there. I like this girl and I know he's crazy about her. My instinct is to do what I can to promote the relationship, but I caught myself and said "no". I will not suggest it. They are going to have to figure these things out on their own. If it is a thing that is meant to continue and is worth it they'll work on solutions themselves. I can't interfere. That decision was not painful! Yeahhhh happy mom moment for a change.

So .... what have you got?
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