Montega (tega) wrote in youwantwhat,

The Perfect Vacation....

You know how they have that hotline for kids to call when they have been abused? We need one for parents. We need to be able to call and tell someone that our kids have finally driven us crazy and that we have gone off the deep end. In fact, I propose that we all start an "abused parent resort" We will call it the "Deep End"

Welcome to Deep End Resort. At Deep End resort we have several activities to take your mind off of your horrible offspring. Take for instance our Last Nerve massage room. Has your last nerve been walked on? Well here at Deep End we have big hunky men and tiny little Asian women who will restore your last nerve via 3 hour massage.

State Laws have you down? Take a visit to our Brat N Bastard Ass Beating Parlor. You can effectively beat the shit out of life sized teenaged mannequins with no repercussion from authorities. Take out all your frustrations!

Relax in the Create a Kid lounge where you can create the perfect child via computer. Our virtual child feature allows you actually hear phrases such as “Can I help you do the dishes? “I cleaned my room and the whole house while you were gone!” “You’re the best cook in the world, can I have more vegetables?” “I’m sorry” “I’m wrong”
Yes, with Create A Kid you can sit back, close your eyes and pretend that instead of the larva you really have, you have this great wonderful kid who will never go wrong.

Hungry for a decent meal? Try the Deep End Sit and Eat Café. You can actually have a meal at the table with no screaming, crying, fighting, singing, banging, demanding more mashed potatoes, bugger picking, snot licking little rat bastards. Here at the Deep End Resort we strive to please and ease. Your meal will be served by teenagers developed, created, and brought to life by the Create A Kid wizards. They are polite and there to appease all your needs and do it with a smile.

So there you have it parents. Instead of going off the deep end, come to the Deep End!
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